Allow them to express their feelings without judgement or criticism. Let them lead you through their grief journey; refrain from directing them.
If you are genuine in your offer of support, be prepared to listen…really listen. The person you care about may repeat the story many times, but this is how they are coming to the painful reality that someone they loved has died. Be prepared to listen…. in silence.
Each person’s reaction to the death of a loved one differs. You are not an expert on anyone’s pain. Step out of your shoes and into theirs to see what the death truly means to them.
Although well intentioned, they do more harm than good. In our effort to relieve pain, we resort to these platitudes: “They’re not suffering”, “At least they lived a good, long life”, “Thank goodness you have other children”, “Call me if you need anything” or “Tears won’t bring them back”. But this minimizes the person’s pain. When words fail you, instead try “I don’t know what to say".
A griever’s outward appearance doesn’t always match how they feel on the inside.
Generally, we are uncomfortable with crying. However, if the person you care about expresses their pain and sadness through tears, create a safe place for them to allow the tears to flow.
Many people do not keep in contact with the bereaved person beyond the funeral or for a few weeks after. The bereaved person requires ongoing support long after the funeral is over. We never “get over” the death of someone loved; we learn, over time, how best to live with it.
Without minimizing or dismissing their pain, reassure the griever to continue to actively mourn so that pain will diminish and life will once again make sense.
3260 Dougall Ave.
Windsor, Ontario, Canada N9E 1S6
1065 Lauzon Rd.
Windsor, Ontario, Canada N8S 3M8
2130 Front Rd.
585 Sandwich St. S.
Amherstburg, Ontario, Canada N9V 0E2
895 Ouellette Ave.
Windsor, Ontario, Canada N9A 4J5
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