When Liza was in Hospice, I wrote her hoping she'd be able to hear, through her sister Vivian, everything I couldn't say to her in person. I wondered as I wrote, why it took me so long & why we are so reticent in telling people we love and admire how we truly feel. I don't know if she was strong enough to be read the letter, and if she did, now that she's all knowing, if she'd kick me for having told a white lie of Trump being impeached...
HI LIZA,
It's been so long since we talked, as a friend I have totally let you down.
But I'm not writing to ask forgiveness or say good bye,
I want you to know what you mean to your friends specifically,
I want you to know what you mean to me...
We've had few chances to spend time together in the last 30 years...
but you've been on my mind more often than you'd ever imagine.
Your indomitable will & spirit inspire me everyday.
Most days, especially on tough days, I call up that fighter spirit of yours,
when I see you smiling, sauntering with your tennis racket or
playing the recorder & viola perfectly or
holding up the TEAM LIZA tags with an ear-to-ear smile...
your confidence then & your perseverance now
would jolt me out of self-pity fits & heal my spirit...
Remember that time Anita & I met you in MA? Vivian and your Dad were both there.
Your strength was palpable and it's clear now that it
never failed to carry through on iron clad wings.
I've learned to draw strength from your mettle,
piggybacking on that strength saved my countless times.
I do not know how to repay you for your gift to me.
I have not been a considerate friend,
sharply disagreeing with you on politics yet you never unfriended me.
Your are my mature, forgiving, nurturing friend.
And definitely my "big brother" as YOU used to call me your "brother". That, is such an honor.
There are so many more reasons other than your strength for which we all love you,
your kindness, your consideration for others, your eternal optimism,
you'd never let us see you weak but you should know,
we love you and we love every aspect of you,
no one is forever strong & I love you no matter.
There is no way I can thank you enough or let you know how much you mean to me,
I don't have the words.
Few people occupy my mind almost everyday the way you do, my ultimate role model.
I've always known, before the cursed illness hit that you are strong,
but only after seeing how you stood up to it all these years, staring it down,
have I glimpsed 1/100th of the inspiring strength in you.
I wish we saw each other more thru the decades
but you are always on my mind and in my heart already,
it's strange how many times giggles sneak out remembering that
we slept at Anita's house amid wedding china for Chiang Kai Shek!
I know you're fighting hard, for more time with Vivian, the angel in your life.
WE, I, WILL ALL BE SENDING YOU BEST ENERGIES & PRAYERS,
WE WILL ALL HELP & I HAVE NO DOUBT, YOU'LL GET YOUR WAY.
BTW just as you wished DONALD TRUMP IS BEING IMPEACHED! YOU WON!!!
I LOVE YOU LIZA, OLD FRIEND
ON MY MIND, IN MY HEART FOREVER MY BROTHER.
HAVE A WONDER DAY. YOU'VE WORKED HARD FOR IT.
TED SENDS BEST WISHES
VIVIAN
